there are people out there
and you try to talk to them, and complain about the world around you and the insubstantial rainbows and love and pool parties and instead of just having a normal conversation and holding your hand and telling you what they did last friday, they are looking at you and then instead of telling you that you're not perfect, they tell you why you're not perfect and they try to tell you what will make you more perfect, as if they hate you for not being perfect. As if they know they're not perfect but they feel as if everybody else should be as perfect as they can never be. And then you feel bad about putting this feeling into words. Because before you just felt frustrated and choked up and now you just have that dull feeling in your stomach of "oh, I've done something wrong." And that's when you want to give up on life and float in a limbo, only the limbo comes in lime-flavor only and you just found out that you're allergic to them.
Labels: ...
you'll never know who I am.
And I'm not even talking about that particular person, or
even the other one, who I can't talk to (yet?).
But everyone. And I'm willing to listen, to stare into your head and love you, I'm ready, but are you? And is it possible to open up long enough until someone sees you, and loves you, without getting hurt? It's sensitive, and anything can make you stop
working,
comments like films of dust clouding up your mind and releasing tears you never knew you had.
If you're waiting, like me, please show me, show me and while I might not look at you as I look at others, two particular people, two whose affection I may never even see, I can love you in a different way, I will see you in a different spectrum and it would be a bond more powerful than blood, and you'll see me and I'll see you and I'll be important to you and you'll be important to me
and sometimes I think that if everyone cared exclusively about everyone else, they wouldn't have to care about themselves, and life would be better.
Except, that's silly and I'm only a child and I need to do my homework.
Labels: and then I opened my eyes and it went away.
So I'm in chemistry.
And it's humid today. I hate it.
I have guitar lessons today, and a project due on thursday. The weather worsens my mood. I am upset, therefore I blog (even though it's against the rules! o:). Have a nice day.
Your pathetic friend,
Angelica
Hi. I'm Angelica. I like Pokémon and complaining. I'm a youngster, but I freak out like a 42-year-old mother. This is just me worrying about getting into college.